Tuesday, October 5, 2010


*sweeps my last post under the rug* Now that THAT is over with.... *sigh*  Sometimes I make myself insane and I can't stand it.  There was a huge blow-up between Master and I about 2 days after I posted that... we were both hysterical, but I blame myself for starting it.  Yet... in a way, that resolved things.  Maybe sometimes what we need is a good screaming match.  Despite the fact that I have some lingering insecurities over the situation (and in how it was handled by the both of us), I'm also sort of... reassured.  Master saw me in a very dark place.  Perhaps not the darkest I've ever been, but much stranger than what he is used to seeing.... and he's still here.  He still loves me.  I don't know how or why, but there it is.  I'm grateful for that.

On the brighter side of things, it's fucking OCTOBER.  Fall weather is finally settling in and I'm loving it.  The cool air, the leaves, that... "smell" that the air takes on when it's perfectly crisp - even in the mid-afternoon.  It's glorious.  The only problem is that since Daylight Savings Time isn't over yet, Master and I wake up in the dark... but that'll be changed soon enough.  I'm normally a winter person, but this weather is so gorgeous and makes me so happy.  I'm excited for more.

I have a lot going on right now.  Next week will be extremely busy, much more so than this one.  I'm trying to get some of next week's work done now so that I won't be as incredibly busy, but I'm a procrastinator at heart so we'll see how that goes, lol.  Our anniversary is looming and I'm still at a loss as far as gifts go.  I think he is too.  We have a lot of bills coming too, which is making things hard.  I'm thinking we might go giftless at this point. :P Or maybe exchanging "IOUs" to be cashed in when we're less strapped for cash, lol.  What I would REALLY love is impossible because we can't afford it... but I'd love to go out to the coast and stay in a hotel or a little cottage by the beach.  Just for one night, maybe too.  Both of us - all alone - together with the ocean and just far enough away from home to leave those issues behind for a little while...... I would really love that.

Eh... maybe someday, right?  Slaves can dream too, don't tell me we can't. :P


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