Sunday, July 29, 2012


Well, I've been in Los Angeles for about two weeks now.  I won't lie, I'm kind of lonely.  Master is still in Portland (though he is looking for work down here).  I don't really know anyone in this area.

But you know, I rather like it.  I live a mile away from the beach.  My job is going pretty well.  All in all, I'd say I'm happy.  It's odd having to manage the house by myself.  I'm not used to flying this kind of plane solo.  It's not so much difficult as strange (for the most part).

Privately, I'm kind of worried that when Master gets down here I'll be somewhat resistant to his taking charge.  I'm independent by nature and the current situation is fostering those traits in me.  Granted, it is why I'm content and not totally miserable/lost.  But I don't want to have to re-learn to let go.  ...Alright, let's get real, I never REALLY learned to let go.  I'm horrible at it.  Still, I'm afraid of losing what I have learned somehow.  It's tough, having him away.  For a lot of reasons (I'm sure you know or can at least imagine).

I would like to go to a local munch or something, but I am afraid to go without Master.  I don't know anything about the kink community here or which groups might be more or less accepting of a new person in a group.  Any recommendations from any locals...?  I'm definitely a stranger in a strange land at this point.

I'm sorry again for going so long between posts.  But moving.  That shit takes a lot out of you.  I'm actually kind of amazed by how well it went (thanks to some help from my parents, thank God for families that come through in a pinch).  Even so... lonely and maybe just a little bit lost, despite my bravado.

I wish I had more kinky/BDSM-y things to write about, but things being what they are, well... you'll probably be seeing a lot of "theory"/introspective type posts coming in the future.  Bah.