Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Punishment

I haven't been punished in roughly 9000 years. No, really. It's been a long time.  Frankly, I am still very confused by what determines (in Master's mind) what is punishment worthy and what isn't. I have to write an essay this time, which I've never done before. Thankfully, he was gracious enough to give me the time to finish my midterms (finally done with that today) before starting on it. I still have a grant proposal to get through, but that should be done within the next hour or two.

So, here I am pondering my assignment. I am the FIRST person to admit that I fucked up. Punishment is actually very easy for me to swallow when I have an understanding of what - exactly - brought it about. What I did was wrong and a solid effort should be made to not do it again... even if it might be somewhat taxing for me. So I am doing my best to graciously accept the task that's been handed to me. It's only one page. But a single-space page usually ends up being at least 800 words or so.

That's quite a few words on this topic, if you ask me. Really, it wasn't a deep or profound mistake. It was quite silly and I'm sure a lot of you would balk at me if I gave details because you would wonder what on earth would possess a slave to do such a thing? Indignation... righteous anger... human error. I dunno, the same things that possess any other person to fuck up. I didn't even really mean to cause the damage I did, which is what makes me so readily apologetic, in a way. It's a lesson learned: be careful what you do. Something I did half in jest ended up causing much more trouble than I intended it to. Needless to say, it wasn't worth it.

Anyway, the point is, I'm not perfect. The parameters of the paper are supposed to be why what I did was wrong, why I'm sorry, and how I'm going to prevent it from happening in the future. Meh. I feel like a little fledging slave all over again.

Sometimes I do stupid shit. Time to correct it and move along as best as possible. *sigh* Oh, guilt... I wish I weren't so good at having you some times.

*~zelda...

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