Tuesday, March 8, 2011

First Question

I received this question quite some time ago from an awesome reader of mine.  You can find her here. :)  Sorry it has taken me so many centuries to respond to this.

"At the bottom of your blog you have a "Rules" heading, but nothing else ...do you have rules already? Set ones? Would you be willing to share them with me if you do?"

I really owe you a personal response, so this post is written up just for you.  Feel free to send me another note if you have more questions after what I write here.

The first part, about the Rule section on this blog?  I'm not even sure what that's for, to be perfectly honest. Master put that there when he was still playing with the layout of the blog.  I think he just forgot to take it out. :P

But, there are some "set" rules in place.  It's somewhat confusing because earlier in the relationship, there were more established rules and ritual type... things in place.  I believe that was to give me some structure in the early days when I had no damn idea what I was doing.  Structure is comforting (to me) when I'm new at something.  And TRUST me, the concept of being submissive was pretty damn foreign at the time.

Currently, the one "big rule" is that whatever he says goes.  Sometimes this is more imposing than others.  Somedays, I don't get any orders from him other than perhaps a "come here and lay with me" or "get me some more water" (typically accompanied by a please.  The man is polite, whether he wants to admit it or not).  Somedays, there's a bit more.  Other days, more still.

Occasionally we go through periods of "micromanaging".  These stretches of time essentially follow an over-arching theme: if I am not told to do it, I have to ask.  For everything.  EVERYTHING.  Eating, the bathroom, etc.  Even those very basic functions required to survive are managed by him.  I think I might be allowed to scratch myself without asking, though lol.  I don't think either of us could live like that permanently.  I would turn into an drooling boob-zombie and he would go crazy having to answer 5000 questions a day.  But sometimes I need the return to that structure for my own sake, other time I think he just enjoys it.  Personally, I like the way our relationship is fluid and that we can function both with me being totally dependent on him or with a little more autonomy on my part.  Flexibility is good.

I'll try to think of the rules that are in play all the time.  I don't think we've ever sat down and formalized them.  Hell, I might even forget some just because I've been living that way so long that I forget it even was a rule established by someone else.  ... And it's thoughts like that that remind me who belongs to who. <_< Anyway, here are some rules:

1 - I must obey any direct order or command.  That's just the nature of the beast relationship.
2 - There are certain male friends that I'm not allowed to go places with alone.  These are people who have demonstrated a blatant sexual interest in me, so it's not without cause.
3 - I am not to be alone with another male in our bedroom (or the other male's bedroom) unless I receive his permission first.  In general, permission requires a reason.  I.e., we're doing research or some project for school together and their computer lives in their bedroom.
4 - I am not allowed to masturbate without his permission. (Sometimes this changes to "If you masturbate, you have to tell about it afterward".  Sometimes this rule disappears entirely).
5 - We're monogamous.  Any (willing) sexual interaction with another man is grounds to end the relationship permanently and without question.

That's actually all I can think of right now.  Honestly, number 1 encompasses a whole lot of other things.
I'm sure there are some that I forgot about due to the reason noted above.  I'm sure Master will have me update the post if there is something I forgot about.

I hope this answers your question!  Things aren't always perfectly defined.  We don't live by a contract or anything even remotely close.  Things operate the way he wants them to, and that can change on a day to day basis.  But hey, I like being kept on my toes.  And I enjoy the fluidity.



  1. Thank You, zelda. You're pretty awesome too.

    I have another question, i think we might have talked about this but I'm old, I forget stuff(that my excuse and I'm stickein to it). (actually a series of questions...)How did you meet? Did you know before you got together that you wanted a dynamic like this? or did it develope after you were a couple? Who was first interested in the dynamic you have now?

    I know, I know, I sound more like a two year old, with all the why why why, than a forgetful old girl. ;D

  2. :P Don't be silly, you're not old. And no fear - you haven't asked me any of this before.

    Feel free to ask as many questions as you'd like, you may be my only source of them this month! lol