Orgasm Training

So I have no concept of how orgasms work for other women.  I figured out how to squirt (where squirting is also known as "female ejaculation" or perhaps a "g-spot orgasm") through masturbating when I was rather young.  When I was with Master, it took a bit of time to get over the nervousness, etc. but it did happen.  However, there was a key difference between the two: when trying to achieve this goal on my own, I always did it while on my back.  With Master, I can only get a g-spot orgasm if he is taking me from behind.

I'm not sure why.  I imagine it has something to do with the angle of his cock.  I know that doggie-style is a common position to start in when partners are trying to "get there".  Again, probably the angles.  Earlier in the week, I mentioned to Master that it would be neat to learn how to squirt in different positions, but that I thought our bodies just didn't line up that way.

Apparently, I was wrong.

This motivated him into some kind of fuck-fest.  I suppose it was partly my doing (who? Me? <_<).  I woke him up very early.  I had had a rather erotic dream about him and so I did what any normal slave would do.  I rolled over and started playing with his cock until it was hard... and then I woke him up.  What?  That's not fanning flames or anything.  That wasn't asking for death by penetration.... right?  Well, apparently it was.

It started out like most early morning, half asleep sex.  For us, it's always overly rough and raunchy.. which I like.  I think Master gets that way because he's still half asleep and "can't feel his body", or so he claims.  But when I asked if he wanted to change positions.. (I had been on my back) he wouldn't let me.  He kept forcing me to cum.  Then he'd pause and pinch and twist my nipples.  Hard... which I like, and it shows.  This seemed to amuse him, and he would occasionally laugh cruelly at me and ask "you like that, you little slut?".  He knew I did.  He knew I would say yes.  He just wanted to force me to admit to it, knowing that I have no other alternative when it comes to Him.

After about five or six orgasms, I couldn't help but wonder what was going on.  What was his plan here, anyway?  Eventually, he leaned over me and whispered: "You're either going to squirt or die, slut" as he laughed softly into my ear.  ... >_> Squirt or die?  Of repeated orgasms, I assumed.  I sort of resigned myself to dying once I heard that, although it did explain his determination to keep fucking me even after I had cum so many times.  Not that he doesn't occasionally put me through orgasm torture with his cock, but even so.  This was different.

Suddenly, he shifted himself slightly.  It's hard for me to explain since I was drowning in sensation, but he seemed to be sort of sitting up on his knees which pushed his cock upward toward my navel.  ...And that's when the damn broke.  The next time I came, a gush of fluid rushed out of me before I could even process what was going on.  It was probably the 10th time I came.  But I was able to get where he wanted me to be.  It just took a lot of ramming and a lot of patience.  I supposed we can credit Master with his mysterious perma-erection that didn't want to quit either.

Why does suffering always turn them on so much...?  Because ten orgasms is suffering.  Mmhm. ;)

And that's how I (we) learned to have g-spot orgasms on my back.

*~zelda...

Everything...

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith cause you believed


I am everything I am
Because you loved me.

On Tears

This actually happened sometime last week, but I only just now have the energy to get to it.

I never cry from physical pain.  I've been tempted a few times (after a major surgery, for instance) but felt like I couldn't give into it.  At least in the case of the surgery, I was sure that if I gave into tears, the pain would take over and I wouldn't be able to stand it any longer.  I'm allergic to any opioid/opiate analgesics.  There was no option of popping the pain killers they'd gave me.  No out.  In some ways, I pride myself on being like my mother.  She has an extremely high pain tolerance.  She's given birth twice without any kind of drugs to help her along the way.  She's a very strong woman, and I've always admired that about her.

In any event, whenever Master takes to beating me (we call it "beating", but it feels odd using that word in a public forum because I feel like it implies that he's somehow forcing this on me.  Yet, even if he did, is that not his prerogative?  Anyway, rest assured, I've signed up for these beatings for life) it is much the same - I have to try to stay very present.  I have to stay on top of the pain.  There is no safeword, no out... if it becomes something I can't handle, I'm just.. fucked, for lack of a better word.  But last Thursday was different.

For some reason when he started, I was already determined to try and let go.  I've been having mental blocks lately about giving myself fully to him.  I'm not huge on Astrology, but I'm an air sign... we go to far away places.  Sometimes within ourselves, other times outside of ourselves, but it can be very easy to withdraw to some corner of my mind and stay there.  I am a space cadet at heart and in my past, it was key to surviving.  But I'm not trying to "survive" M/s.  I want to be there for it.  Shortly after he began, I could already feel tears pricking at the back of my eyes.  I didn't know why.  I cannot cry on command.  Sometimes it's hard for me to cry when I need to cry.  But there they were.

He pushed me farther than normal.  Not with intensity, but with the length of time.  He kept switching implements.  I was lost somewhere between the switch, his hands, and the paddle.  It was when he pulled out the little flogger that I lost it.  Ironically, it's a very tiny little thing.  It only leaves a surface sting, but let me tell you - it does sting, and I am not a fan of stinging.  After a few hard whacks with it... I lost control.  Well, I shouldn't say I lost control.  I wasn't in control of myself in the first place.  But rather, it finally came to the surface.  I had never cried during a beating before, and once Master noticed he stopped for a bit, let me sit up, and hug him.

He was kneeling on the bed and I was sitting, hugging his hips and crying somewhere next to his cock.  I wasn't upset or even hurt... it wasn't the pain that took me there, it was something else entirely.  I don't know what.  I remember looking up at him and having him wipe the tears from my cheeks and I was just... so, so happy.  I was still crying, but I was elated.  I tried to show him that, but I'm unsure if it came through.  Either way, it was wonderful.

Once I had calmed down slightly, he proceeded to mouth fuck me and then take me.  He had wanted me to take it from behind, but I asked if I could face him.  I was still raw emotionally and I felt like I would start crying again with faceless fucking (which is weird, since having it from behind is one of my favorites).  He obliged my request.  I think on some level, we both would have enjoyed pushing me farther but I think he was afraid of pushing too far too fast.  I'm not sure if I can expect the same kindness in the future.. perhaps it would depend on his mood at the time, like most things do.

In any event, I had never been to that place before.  I loved it.  I just hope it pleased him as much.

*~zelda...

Kinkfest in Review

First, a quick note.  Some of you may have noticed that to your left, under the About Me section, there is now something called a "Plurk Feed".  This is a little widget I've added to provide "status updates" to my blog when I'm out puttering around or don't have time to post.  I'm just trying it out for now so we'll see how it goes.  Feel free to try it out yourselves, the interface is actually rather neat.  Not to mention I wouldn't mind having some kinky plurk friends. xD  I'm working on making the widget actually fit in the side panel, so I guess just be patient with me while I experiment.

Join Plurk here to auto-follow me if you'd like.  No pressure, I've just been enjoying it so I thought I'd share.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Anyway, about KF.  Master and I had day passes fro Saturday only.  We went to three workshops: Humiliation & Erotic Embarrassment (somewhat self-explanatory), something weird called Manipulation of the Bound, and a fun little thing at the end called "Speed Bondage" where we learned a few new rope ties that were relatively simple, but fun.  Master and I don't seem to have the patience for rope bondage to be frank, so the Speed Bondage class was great.  We had actually intended to go to something about Edgeplay, but the damn thing was in a tiny room and was totally full by the time we got there (and we were 15 minutes early).  But, I don't regret going to the speed bondage class at all.

Manipulation of the bound was very interesting, but difficult for me to understand.  Unfortunately, it was only part 1 of a 2 part workshop (the second half was on Sunday).  It had to do with using qi (commonly spelled "chi") and hard/yang energy manipulation to induce therapeutic pain.  It would be amazing if Master could take lessons from this fellow. xD  We talked with the "demo-bottom" after the course and she seemed to have very much enjoyed the session.  I would love to learn more about it.  Master has always been a "hard martial arts" nerd, but I've been studying Tai Qi for several years now and it seems like many of the Tai Qi principles are applied in this mysterious type of bondage.  Again, I'd love to know more.

The vendor mall was both interesting and expensive.  We didn't buy much.  We considered a few collars (we're still shopping for something more permanent), but didn't find much to our liking.  Still, I enjoyed walking around and seeing the types of products that people produced.  It's not a skill I possess (I'm awful with my hands, really) so it's something I can appreciate.

Now, one thing you have to understand about Master and I is that we're recluses.  We've never been to a play party.  I've never been played with in front of other people.  Frankly, the idea scares the shit out of me.  It makes an erotic fantasy, but I don't think I could stomach it in real life.  Still, I was proud that we went into the dungeon for a little while.  It wasn't crowded and Master didn't even ask me to take off any of my clothes, but I did get a good paddling and a bit of whipping on my bare back.  Actually, I quite liked the bit of equipment I was bent over.  It was REALLY nice having something solid to rest against rather than having to hold myself up and take it.  A passerby or two did watch for a bit and I didn't mind terribly, although I did find it somewhat distracting.

The other odd thing (and this would probably not be add to some of you at all) was seeing Master's shadow.  Normally when he's dishing out a beating, I can't see him at all.  I don't see his hand or the implement (if he's using one).  I don't see the wind-up.  Nothing.  But I could see all of that due to the lighting and the shadows that were cast.  It made it much scarier because then I knew when the big blows were coming.

I did find the situation erotic and I wished there was somewhere private to go and fuck afterwards, but we managed to make it home without dying. :P  The play we did in the public dungeon was very light and (all things considered) still fairly private/isolated.  Still, I think Master was proud of me for giving it a go and I think I was proud of myself, too.  Neither of us has a real interest in getting out and doing public play again, so I honestly don't think I'll be doing much of that again.  Maybe next year if we decide to go again, but who know.  All in all, it was a good experience to have, but I think we both prefer our privacy.

Unfortunately, I didn't get to meet up with xantu.  But I know she was there at the same time I was... lol

Anyway, it was good.  I'm not sure I'd recommend it unless you have money to burn, though.  It was pricey for what it offered (to be frank).

*~zelda...

A quick question

Are there any readers out there who use a type of chat/IM client?  If so, you should mail me your contact info.  I wouldn't mind sharing in some pleasant internet banter with you. :)

That's all.

*~zelda...

Punishment

I haven't been punished in roughly 9000 years. No, really. It's been a long time.  Frankly, I am still very confused by what determines (in Master's mind) what is punishment worthy and what isn't. I have to write an essay this time, which I've never done before. Thankfully, he was gracious enough to give me the time to finish my midterms (finally done with that today) before starting on it. I still have a grant proposal to get through, but that should be done within the next hour or two.

So, here I am pondering my assignment. I am the FIRST person to admit that I fucked up. Punishment is actually very easy for me to swallow when I have an understanding of what - exactly - brought it about. What I did was wrong and a solid effort should be made to not do it again... even if it might be somewhat taxing for me. So I am doing my best to graciously accept the task that's been handed to me. It's only one page. But a single-space page usually ends up being at least 800 words or so.

That's quite a few words on this topic, if you ask me. Really, it wasn't a deep or profound mistake. It was quite silly and I'm sure a lot of you would balk at me if I gave details because you would wonder what on earth would possess a slave to do such a thing? Indignation... righteous anger... human error. I dunno, the same things that possess any other person to fuck up. I didn't even really mean to cause the damage I did, which is what makes me so readily apologetic, in a way. It's a lesson learned: be careful what you do. Something I did half in jest ended up causing much more trouble than I intended it to. Needless to say, it wasn't worth it.

Anyway, the point is, I'm not perfect. The parameters of the paper are supposed to be why what I did was wrong, why I'm sorry, and how I'm going to prevent it from happening in the future. Meh. I feel like a little fledging slave all over again.

Sometimes I do stupid shit. Time to correct it and move along as best as possible. *sigh* Oh, guilt... I wish I weren't so good at having you some times.

*~zelda...

Kinkfest

Kinkfest 2011. I will be there this Saturday. :3 I am very excited.

That is all for now. I'll be sure to give a proper update later when I can tell you how it was.

*~zelda...

March Q&A, part two

How did you meet?

This is cliche, but a mutual friend introduced us.  She had known me for years and had just recently met my Master.  I remember her telling me "You would like him.  He's an asshole.", and I thought... what?  Why?  That's a weird thing to say.  And he WAS (is <_<) an asshole.  We simultaneously hit it off and somewhat disliked one another.  I thought he was a misogynist with a chip on his shoulder and he thought I was a femi-nazi.  But he became my best friend.  We had both "given up" on relationships all together.  We occasionally comforted one another after other feeble attempts at dating.

Why are other people idiots?  What is with these people?  Why does everyone only want BOOTY CALLS?  We were both rather traditional as far as relationships went and neither of us were the type to jump into bed with people at random.  We weren't trusting.  We were cloistered, closed, and frankly... hiding from the hurt other people had the potential to wield.  And it took.. *counts* 5-6 months of being pals before I was informed that I was beautiful and that he loved me.  That's... the short version of how things started.  I will admit to omitting details, but this story is precious to me and I don't want to risk screwing it up.  So you get the short version... I hope no one minds terribly.

Did you know before you got together that you wanted a dynamic like this? Or did it develop after you were a couple?

I think he knew in the back of his mind, somewhere.  I don't think either of us were totally aware of the details of BDSM.  We knew what bondage was and we knew what sadomasochism was, but the details about how these dynamics were "supposed to work" (we were such noobs!  "Supposed to".. ha) were lost on us, as were the various options such as D/s, M/s, O/p.... etc.  He used to always talk about how he would NEVER be in a relationship where he wasn't in charge.  Being equally aggressive, I sort of just humored him and shook my head, knowing that whether he knew it or not, I'd eventually be in control.  With or without his acceptance or even his realization.

Well... that was wrong.  The details are actually fuzzy to me.  We started dating in an October, and eight months later in June, I received my first collar.  It's actually the leather one in my fetlife profile pic.  (Trivia: that collar actually suffered a sad fate during our recent move in November.  It wasn't really anyone's fault... but I'm still really sad that it's gone because it was my first and it meant a lot to me.  I'm a sentimental lass at times.  But, Master is still around. :) So I'm sure I'll get over it)  At the time, it was very standard to give to a new submissive (which is what I identified as initially, I think..): one inch leather, o-ring.

In all honesty, the details of the transformation from vanilla (but we were never REALLY vanilla... we just didn't know what to call it and it wasn't formalized.. but yea.  Neither of us were ever "normal"), to D/s, to Ms/Op are sort of lost on me.  I wish I could remember it more clearly... but I can't.  I wonder why that is?  I just know that once our toes were in the water, it didn't take long for me to end up as his slave.  Master isn't the kind of man who could live only in the bedroom or with limits on his control... he's like ivy - he's got to be everywhere.  That means he's healthy.  Frankly, I wouldn't have it any other way.

I've always been SO GRATEFUL that I didn't have to look for a kinky partner seeking a dynamic.  I didn't know it was what I wanted.  But I got lucky and landed my perfect companion very quickly... and he came equipped with all these awesome ownership features! lol

Who was first interested in the dynamic you have now?

I think I sort of answered this above.  It was a bit of both of us, but it was mostly him.  He lead me down the rabbit hole with a neat little trail of breadcrumbs and treats.

I'm still following him.

*~zelda...

(Brought to you again by Little Monkey)
Keep the questions coming if you've got them, dear readers!

I will miss you (both)

I am sure I will later feel like an idiot for posting this.

I don't like drama.  I don't like gossip.  And to be frank, I don't have any more details or information than anyone on the internet has.  This is not me airing out the dirty laundry of others.  This is me being... sad.

But the woman who inspired me to start blogging about... all of this in the first place has disappeared.  So has her partner.  They've both dropped off the face of the internet.  They have their reasons, even if I don't know what they are.  And I'm still hoping that things will work out for them both... somehow, even if it isn't the same as the previous arrangement.

I don't have any other way to get in touch with either of them.  I won't pretend that we were close, though I felt like I knew them through her writing.  But I was always inspired by that writing.  By both of them.  By the fet posts and the blogs and the infrequent private message passed along.  I'm going to miss those things... so much.

I have no email addresses.  I have no phone numbers.  I have no IM information.  Fetlife was the only form of "personal" contact I had before.  And now, one has deleted their profile entirely and the other has wiped it clean.  Maybe soon they'll both be gone entirely.  There is no way on this earth for me to find either of them again.

No way to give that final... word of goodbye and mention all the things I probably ought to have mentioned before.  She'd probably laugh at me and call me a loon (in a good natured sort of way).  But... I wish I had said those things.  I'm going to miss both of them so, so much.  I wish like hell there was a way to let either of them know that.

She doesn't know that she helped me understand a lot of the issues I've had as a slave and a submissive.  She doesn't know that she's the one who led me to fet in the first place.  She doesn't know how much I always wished that I could have someone like her as a mentor.  She doesn't know how her stories about her children helped me understand some of the things my own parents have said.  She doesn't know how she inspired me... in so many ways.  She doesn't know that I respected her immensely.  She doesn't know how much I admired her.  There is a lot that she doesn't know.

She doesn't know.

She'll probably never know now.

*~zelda...

First Question

I received this question quite some time ago from an awesome reader of mine.  You can find her here. :)  Sorry it has taken me so many centuries to respond to this.

"At the bottom of your blog you have a "Rules" heading, but nothing else ...do you have rules already? Set ones? Would you be willing to share them with me if you do?"


I really owe you a personal response, so this post is written up just for you.  Feel free to send me another note if you have more questions after what I write here.

The first part, about the Rule section on this blog?  I'm not even sure what that's for, to be perfectly honest. Master put that there when he was still playing with the layout of the blog.  I think he just forgot to take it out. :P

But, there are some "set" rules in place.  It's somewhat confusing because earlier in the relationship, there were more established rules and ritual type... things in place.  I believe that was to give me some structure in the early days when I had no damn idea what I was doing.  Structure is comforting (to me) when I'm new at something.  And TRUST me, the concept of being submissive was pretty damn foreign at the time.

Currently, the one "big rule" is that whatever he says goes.  Sometimes this is more imposing than others.  Somedays, I don't get any orders from him other than perhaps a "come here and lay with me" or "get me some more water" (typically accompanied by a please.  The man is polite, whether he wants to admit it or not).  Somedays, there's a bit more.  Other days, more still.

Occasionally we go through periods of "micromanaging".  These stretches of time essentially follow an over-arching theme: if I am not told to do it, I have to ask.  For everything.  EVERYTHING.  Eating, the bathroom, etc.  Even those very basic functions required to survive are managed by him.  I think I might be allowed to scratch myself without asking, though lol.  I don't think either of us could live like that permanently.  I would turn into an drooling boob-zombie and he would go crazy having to answer 5000 questions a day.  But sometimes I need the return to that structure for my own sake, other time I think he just enjoys it.  Personally, I like the way our relationship is fluid and that we can function both with me being totally dependent on him or with a little more autonomy on my part.  Flexibility is good.

I'll try to think of the rules that are in play all the time.  I don't think we've ever sat down and formalized them.  Hell, I might even forget some just because I've been living that way so long that I forget it even was a rule established by someone else.  ... And it's thoughts like that that remind me who belongs to who. <_< Anyway, here are some rules:

1 - I must obey any direct order or command.  That's just the nature of the beast relationship.
2 - There are certain male friends that I'm not allowed to go places with alone.  These are people who have demonstrated a blatant sexual interest in me, so it's not without cause.
3 - I am not to be alone with another male in our bedroom (or the other male's bedroom) unless I receive his permission first.  In general, permission requires a reason.  I.e., we're doing research or some project for school together and their computer lives in their bedroom.
4 - I am not allowed to masturbate without his permission. (Sometimes this changes to "If you masturbate, you have to tell about it afterward".  Sometimes this rule disappears entirely).
5 - We're monogamous.  Any (willing) sexual interaction with another man is grounds to end the relationship permanently and without question.

That's actually all I can think of right now.  Honestly, number 1 encompasses a whole lot of other things.
I'm sure there are some that I forgot about due to the reason noted above.  I'm sure Master will have me update the post if there is something I forgot about.

I hope this answers your question!  Things aren't always perfectly defined.  We don't live by a contract or anything even remotely close.  Things operate the way he wants them to, and that can change on a day to day basis.  But hey, I like being kept on my toes.  And I enjoy the fluidity.

*~zelda...

March Q&A

Hello to all of you.

I have neglected to mention that this month is some variety of "question and answer" celebration in blog-land.  Comment with any questions or you can email me with them.  My email lives to your left in that text blurb under my avatar.  Alternatively, you can send me questions on Fetlife if you have me added there.  In fact, I owe a particular reader an answer to a question that was asked of me last month. xD So perhaps I'll start there.

I'll do my best to be candid and answer questions honestly, but if I feel something would identify me or Master too easily, I may have to ignore it.  Naturally, Master has veto power on which questions I can answer so if I skip you for some reason, you can always blame him. :)

Ask away.

*~zelda...

Fluid Sense of Self

I want you to crush me in your hand
While I can still call myself "me"...

So, I'm resistant to change.  Of any sort.  Change in my environment, change in other people, change in my own habits, and (especially) changes inside myself.  I'm pretty.. content with where I'm at.  I like me.  I like who I am (on the inside... the outside still has a lot of self-esteem issues, but that's a different post).  In any event, I'm satisfied with myself as a person.  I don't think there is anything wrong with me.  I don't think I need to change...

And for some reason, I seem to think that obedience and surrender are going to drastically alter me beyond the point of no return.  If I were to become readily obedient, less questioning.. could I still call myself me?  The idea of Master making changes to me as a person scares me.  Of course, he's already done that a few times - typically without me realizing that it was even happening.  Sometimes, I never even noticed at all and he had to tell me about the change he had seen in me.  Given that it's already happened and given that every time it has happened, it's been for the better?  I don't know why the idea still scares the shit out of me.  I feel like it's holding me back, like there is some small part of myself I'm not giving to him because I'm too busy grasping hold of it like a fucking lifeline.

And that makes me feel really, truly awful.

I guess to some people that might seem weird. I mean, self preservation is programmed into us.  We're supposed to (used loosely), as humans, do things like that.  But it makes me feel guilty.  It makes me feel like I'm not doing everything I can.  It makes me feel like I'm not sacrificing enough.

...It makes me feel like a failure.

I've never striven for perfection with myself (as a human being, at least).  I believe flaws make us who we are.  That's probably why I think that altering myself, even in the case of improving "flaws" or "faults", will make me be... not me anymore.  I fucking love my faults.  But on the other hand, I'm not crying over the things that have already changed in me, am I?  It makes no sense.  And more importantly... why I am I so afraid of losing myself?  I'm not sure I have the right to a "self" anymore, other than what he gives me.

Part of the fear, I think, may stem from him as well.  Some years ago, he confessed to me that he was afraid I was "losing myself in him".  I think that scared him.  I'm not sure why.  If he reads this, I'm not sure he'll even remember this conversation because he's probably moved beyond those concerns by now.  But it's always 5 times as scary when Master is afraid of the same things I am.  And if I were to become something or someone else... would he still love me?  I wonder that a lot.

But someone said something to me the other day.  Actually, this wasn't really said "to me".  I was in class and so it was in an academic context, but the study of psychopathology is nearly always personal on some level or another.  I was listening to this girl (a lovely Bulgarian I've grown rather fond of) say something along these lines:

"I don't know why people are always so fixed on this one set 'thing' that they feel they have to conform to in order to be themselves.  I sometimes think people would be much happier if they could have a fluid sense of self and embrace change.  Perhaps then they could see they are as much themselves now as they were thirty years ago."


That was like being punched in the face.  I'm always going to be me, regardless of what happens.  And I think I want to be subsumed by him.

I've always loved this song.  It's in Japanese, but I'll give translated lyrics here.  Both the lyrics and the song are beautiful and relatable to me as a slave.

Chou (Butterfly) - Amano Tsukiko [YouTube Link]


"I crawled underground digging a tunnel
Not knowing how far the tunnel would go on for
With my soil-covered scoop in one hand
I was searching for your arm


As I gathered up my patchy happiness and sowed it
I was crushed by your strength


Burning
Burning
The scar on my palm that won’t go away
Ripping through the gaps in the red clouds with my tattered wings
Finding a me who can fly well


Where will the eternity I drew while I was in my cocoon
Put out its bud and open its flower?
The morning eventually brings back the night
Captivating me


Moonlight
I believed that as I groped around
My arm would get tangled with yours and I’d find where you are


Burning out
Burning out
You won’t come back to the place we promised
Running through the black earth in shattering pain
Finding a me who can fly well


If I can’t hear you scream
I want you to crush me in your hand
While I can still call myself “me”
Your arm holding me back becomes silent dust
I just quietly
Looked up at the sky


Burning
Burning
The scar on my palm that won’t go away
Ripping through the gaps in the red clouds with my tattered wings


Burning out
Burning out
You won’t come back to the place we promised
Finding a me who can fly well..."


*~zelda...

Opening...

I've been feeling somewhat closed off lately.

I want.. need to be force open again.

A reclaiming, of sorts.  I feel I've grown too autonomous and that frightens me.

Pull me back in, love?

*~zelda...