Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Day 17 of 30...

Day 17: What misconceptions about kinky people would you most like to clear up?


This question kind of made me laugh.  I don't know about misconceptions... but there are some stereotypes that sort of irk me.

For one thing, we aren't insane.  I think it's odd when people decide to blame sexual kinkiness on some type of psychological issue.  It's not in the DSM, people.  Leave it alone.  You don't have to be a lunatic to enjoy pain or power dynamics or anything else kink related.  I don't deny that I have some issues, but I'm just saying - being kinky isn't a symptoms of any mental disorder.  I study this shit for a living.  I promise.

Hmm, here's another.  We're not all professional Dominatrices, Doms, slaves, submissives, etc.  Some vanillas seem to think that we're all glorified prostitutes or something. OR the other misconception is that if you are into BDSM, you MUST be a swinger or poly.  I'm living proof that this isn't a vital aspect of kink. Sure, it is for some people.  Yay for them.  But just because someone is kinky, don't assume they have multiple sexual partners.  It irritates when people automatically assume this about Master and I (especially when we've made it clear we're not looking for play partners or anything else).  In order to avoid looking silly or being disrespectful... ask first, touch later.

Also, we're not always what we seem.  A slave or a submissive doesn't have to work as a librarian or in the service industry.  Some of us are giant tycoons and if you dare fuck with us, we will remove your limbs.  A lot of slaves have a zero-tolerance for bullshit.  I'm one of them.  Don't assume I'm a pleasant, ultra-feminine, fuck doll just because I'm someone's slave.  You will regret this.  Alternatively, not all Dominants go running around verbally assaulting people or pushing people around like dicks.  A lot of these people are quiet, reserved men.  You don't have to be an asshole to be a dominant.

Additionally, just because someone is a dom doesn't mean they are automatically a sadist or an abuser.  Same goes for slaves and subs - not all of 'em are masochists and even if they are, it doesn't mean they enjoy abuse.

Most importantly, remember kids - it's not abuse when you consent to it and you like it. :P  BDSM =/= abuse.  Sure, some unscrupulous people will use it for that purpose.  But don't make assumptions.  It makes us sad.

Those are the first stereotypes/misconceptions that popped into my head.  Feel free to mention more if you've got 'em!


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