Day 11 of 30...

Day 11: What are your views on the ethics of kink?

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Ooo, I'm barely getting this post in today. xD

The ethics of kink. I mean… alright. I guess. This isn’t an issue I spend a lot of time thinking about. My ethics are probably different from those of other people. I tend to be fairly tolerant of people with different kinks (the same way I’m tolerant of differing political or religious views). But, like politics and religion, I have conditions. One: don’t tell me I’m an idiot for disagreeing with you. Two: don’t try to convert me or look down on me when I inform you that, although fascinating, your differing point of view has not enlightened me or changed my way of thinking.

It is the same with kink. For instance, I recognize that poly (which keeps coming up just because it’s a good, easy example) is great for some people. It isn’t something I’m interested in, it would upset me, and it’s just.. meh. Again, no matter how awesome it is for someone else, they aren’t going to “convert” me or make me change. There are very few “kinks” I take moral issue with. These things basically line up with the forbidden subjects listed fetlife Terms of Service, if you want to get an idea. I’d rather not even mention them in my blog, if that’s okay. I’m sure people can at least gather some idea of what I’m talking about here.

General ethics? Dude, I don’t know. I’m sure it would vary by person. For the most part, don’t abduct people without their permission I suppose. Get consent. And by that, I mean consent that is legal. The person must be of age. The person must not be mentally retarded or mentally unhealthy. The person must not be impaired (drunk, high, etc). If a person does not meet those criteria (of age, not mentally impaired, not impaired by a substance), the consent you might get from them does not count. It must be verbal or written. This is USA law, not me talking.

For those of us involved in TPE or “consensual non-consent” scenarios, I’m not suggesting we get or give consent every 8 seconds. Just that.. you know, maybe don’t agree to be someone’s property when you’re drunk. xD That’s all I’m saying. For the most part, as long as everyone is happy, I’m not that concerned with ethics. There are messier issues of course, but those will vary by situation.

For instance, I don’t think my Master would command me to get on my knees and suck him off while my mother is in town and having dinner with us. A – my mother didn’t “consent” to this little show and B – it would PROBABLY damage our relationship with her. Maybe some owners WOULD expect their slave to do that. Is that unethical? I dunno. It isn’t for me, but maybe the people involved with that owner don’t care as much. I mean, the above example is PROBABLY not a very likely scenario. I saw a thread on fet where a dude got all pissy because he had a rule that HE does all dishes, not the slave. At the slave’s parents’ home for dinner, they asked her to do the dishes and she obliged – listening to her family and disregarding her master’s freakish passion for doing dishes.

Is that unethical? Because omg, the parents didn’t consent to him doing the dishes and oh noooooooo. Again, I dunno. To these people, it might have been alright for her to disobey her family and let her master do the damn dishes. Maybe a blowjob at the dinner table wouldn’t be okay. Again, specific ethics vary.

Get consent and don’t do shit that is federally illegal. That’s really all I care about.