Monday, November 8, 2010

Day 16 of 30...

Day 16: What are the most difficult aspects of having a sexuality that involves kink or BDSM for you personally?


Um... "difficult"?  I don't know if anything is really difficult.  It's difficult internally (goes against my nature for some weird reason, remember?) and sometimes I struggle with that.  But you've heard quite enough about that so I think I'll choose a different topic.

I know almost no one (personally) that is kinky.  I know a few people, but they all live out of state.. all old friends from waaaaay back in the day.  Strange how that works.  But, as far as our local pals go, I feel like we have to be somewhat secretive.  Not a lot, and not with most people.  Some friends know more than others.  Most are just fine with it or have no opinion.  I've had a few people get very fascinated with it and want to discuss it with me more, which I'm always happy to do.  But one particular snafu comes to mind...

Master and I were at a friend's house.. about 10 of us were over, playing video games and relaxing.  Nothing very exciting.  I was wearing my leather collar (which my friends had seen before), but Master also had me on a leash that day.  I didn't think it would matter.  These were my friends and there had been no other complaints.  Most people were like "har, I get it!" or just smiled in a knowing, amused fashion as my friends and I so often do. :P

However, I later found out that one fellow (the man who I knew the least well out of all those people) was somewhat perturbed by it.  He wasn't offended, but rather felt that it gave him some kind of.. "permission" to objectify me.  It was obvious from past incidents that this guy was attracted to me, but I mostly just shut him down and moved on.  It wasn't something that worried me.  But to hear that he took it as permission..?  I dunno, it pissed me off and it pissed off Master.  One of our less understanding pals mentioned to me that he could understand the thought process of our other friend... "collars are a symbol of objectification".  I disagree.  I don't think ownership equates to objectification in all cases, but I digress.

It's fine for Master to objectify me.  I am his.  But some other guy who we didn't even know very well just.. making these assumptions?  I later found out he exaggerated the story to other people, making it sound as if I showed up leashed more often than not and that Master and I were doing things in front of other people that made "even (the guy who never cares, name omitted)" "uncomfortable".  Which was false.  All false.  We never did anything out of the ordinary in front of people.  We're not touchy, grabby, make-out in public types.  Even when I was leashed, wanna know what we were doing?  Playing Mario Kart with other people. xD  Cause that's the MOST erotic experience two people can share, right?

It just felt disrespectful.  I didn't appreciate the weird rumors and lies either.  I later forgave this person, but still... I guess the point is, it's a shame kink is something so many people have to hide.  I don't feel like I need to conceal it.  However, I do now keep in mind that there are some people who just don't understand it.  Obviously this guy did not understand what a collar meant or what it is for.  It's tough to blame an ignorant person (though I did.. and I blamed him for the lies spread about me, but anyway :P).  All the same, it's a shame people can't be more expressive about who they are I suppose.


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