Tuesday, September 27, 2011

"Sub Space"

Sometimes, I don't even believe that it exists.

That's at least one of my BDSM-related secrets. :P  To me, it seems like some giant thing that everyone is always talking about... get caned? Go into subspace.  Flogged? Subspace!  Paddled?  Whipped?  That'll earn you an all-expenses-paid trip to SUBSPAAAAAAACE! :D

I know, I know - I'm being tongue in cheek.  It doesn't bother me to see or hear people talk about it and it the topic isn't nearly as prolific as I'm making it out to be.  Yet, sometimes I feel like I'm missing out on something.  It's as if it's some lovely, magical thing that I simply can't grasp.  It sure sounds pleasant from what I've heard of it, but... honestly, sometimes I find myself doubting whether the phenomenon actually occurs or if it's just something people natter about on the occasion.

I seriously doubt that it's some giant, collective lie that everyone is all wrapped up in.  That would be paranoid of me, wouldn't it? :P Still, I would like to know what everyone is talking about... And I have taken my fair share of beatings and had my fair share of marks.  Sure, there are people far more extreme than Master and I... yet, I know of people who are less "extreme" that slip into sub space all the time.  I'm envious!  I want to know!

Maybe it's a conscious thing.  Maybe I'm just not "letting go" enough.  I have a hard time letting go, though.  When I go quiet, Master turns up the heat.  Turning up the heat knocks me out of any kind of "floaty" space and I go back into the fire... etc.  You can see how this goes on.  It's interesting, and I certainly am not complaining about the treatment I get (hehe).  But I really would love to let myself go into subspace...

Sorry this post is so poorly constructed, I was writing this and doing about 50 things at once.  But I wanted to get it out while the issue was still in my head.

Is it something that I'm blocking?  Or is it possible that it just doesn't happen for some of us...?  Opinion time!  Tell me what you thinks. (yes.  what you thinkS. :P)



  1. Ooh yay, open license to spout an opinion! Wish I had a more interesting one...

    I think that almost everybody has a different definition of what exactly subspace is.

    I think it is possible for everyone. And I do believe that it is quite possible to block it--whether intentionally or not.
    I know I do it to myself sometimes. And sometimes just the act of "trying" to get there keeps me out.

  2. I don't think I've ever "tried" to get there. Since I don't really know exactly what it is (never having been there myself), I wouldn't know how to try, per se.. So I am hoping that isn't the problem. I guess I shouldn't call it a problem, it isn't really an issue... I just want to be in the club! lol

  3. zelda,

    I am right there with you. In fact, I'd been planning on asking these same questions in a blog post myself. I too am seriously lost when it comes to this topic of "subspace". I don't get it. It's simply never happened for me (or to me), and I feel so left out, like I'm missing out on some kind of pure ecstasy, ya know? I think about this all the time, and I wish I knew, wish I could experience..this "subspace". It's not there for me. And I wouldn't know how to try, either! Lol! It's hard to grasp at something we can't even define, right? So mysterious. You and I can sit on this bench together, I suppose. That way you'll have a friend and know that your not so all alone after all ;)


  4. I've thought about this for a bit.

    Just like my kink isn't your kink, it seems like my subspace isn't your subspace. As defined by and large, "subspace" is where you go when your brain is so high on the endorphins generated by the fight-or-flight response to whatever is happening to you.

    I can't say that I've ever "gone" there either, but there is something that happens in my head, a switch that clicks for me, where I suddenly I have an overwhelming urge to do whatever he asks of me, where the impacts turn into pleasure and my ability to respond verbally is very, very limited.

    That's my subspace. If I ever went anywhere else, I'd be bewildered. It's very very good for me, but it's not what I've heard others describe; and that's okay. (party line, but it is)

  5. Since I sometimes think I'm not as readily orgasmic as most, I guess my consolation prize is that I easily get to subspace. For me, it's where pain is no longer pain, the world fuzzes out, I will allow anything to be done to me without complaint or question. It's like having an orgasm while you're not having one, if that makes any sense. I usually get there through pain, e.g. hard spanking/flogging, etc. ;) But it's very real and not imagined.