Challenge

This is unrelated to anything.  I've been hearing this song on the radio, and I really love it.  The male singer sounds like Sting (especially during the chorus).  It's really awesome hearing an 80s voice in modern music (I'm an 80s music junkie).  If you're interested, hit Play while you read the rest. :P



I'm still trying to read that Fifty Shades series.  I'm not sure if I'm just getting used to the shitty writing or if the author improved by the time she rolled around to writing the second book.  Could be some combination of both.  Still, going to press on.  It's tough for my the judge something before getting through the whole thing.  ... That's not to say it hasn't stopped me in the past, but eh - I'm busy as hell and my brain could use something thoughtless to occupy it.  It's like watching daytime television - a reprieve from academia and intellectualism.  I have to confess, though - I've not been converted into an erotica fan. lol  I've also started re-reading a bit of Tess of the d'Urbervilles.  I'm not the biggest fan of 19th century lit, but it is a classic.

(By now you're all probably wondering what kind of literature I *do* like.  I can save that for another post.)

I missed the March Q&A train again.  I forget every year.  I think I did it once, but didn't receive many questions anyway.  Still, I'd like to catch it from the get-go one of these days.  Maybe next year!

I've been pondering Master and my relationship with him a lot recently.  In good ways.  Still, I can't help but self-deprecate so much of the time.  I want to be challenged, but I know that as soon as it gets difficult, I rear up and buck against it all.  It makes me disappointed in myself.  Maybe I'm not trying as hard as I think I am...?  It's hard to say.  I feel like I do fight for it, struggle with myself over it, but try as I might - the whole "total submission" thing eludes me.  He's told me time and time again he doesn't want utter submission.. it would make me dull.  I agree with him - it would make me very dull.  But I need to give him more than what I've been offering recently.

Meh.  It's hard.  You all know that, I'm sure I'm preaching to the choir.  I just think I should have a better grasp on this by now.  Maybe it's because I'm so young.  I guess we'll see as the years unfold further.  Time has been marching on alarmingly fast these past few moons...

*~zelda...