Monday, January 2, 2012

A Pseudo Explanation

I suppose I owe everyone an explanation...

I don't want to be detailed and identifiable.  But there were familial problems that were taking up a lot of my time.  I was over-worked, over-stressed, under-nourished... and I got sick.  In pretty much every way a person can get sick.  Physically, I have been ill since Oct. 31st, 2011.  I'm still not totally right, but I've been doing much better during the past week or so.  I'll get better.  But it was hard to heal when my mind was in so many directions.  Anxiety REALLY took over my life for a while... and I was not in a good space.

I suppose even if I'd had the time or energy to blog, there would not have been much to say.  Due to.. well, due to my shit, BDSM really got put on the back burner.  Thankfully our relationship overall was not put in the background.  Master's kindness and understanding is probably what got me through all of this crap.  He was the one constant I had and the one thing I had to look forward to at the end of every day.  But still, it doesn't make for decent blogging material.  At least not in my opinion.  (You still are! <3)

I have a lot of self-repair to work on.  Physically, I have to mend - not only to be non-sick, but to get back in shape after months of lethargy and the inability to move much (I also cracked a rib or two at some point.. that didn't help).  I have to get my head back on straight, although I feel like it's mostly there now.  And, perhaps the most difficult of all, I've got to get back into the swing of M/s.

Many months ago, my first collar was lost.  We had moved apartments, and somehow or another during that time, my collar got wet and molded.  It was simple, a 1'' black leather strap with a dee & o-ring.  But it was my first collar.  I had had it since June 2005.  It was heartbreaking to lose it.  I know it sounds petty, but I'm sentimental and it made me sad.  Anyway, Master ordered 2 new collars the other day and I am anxiously awaiting the opportunity to be wearing them.

I've been wanting a kind of 24/7 collar, something I can wear in the shower without fear of ruin (stealth collar from Ring of Steel, anyone? :P).  But uh.. that's on hold for the moment.  Master is letting me wait until I've achieved a certain personal goal of mine before wearing it.  At any rate, I'm glad to be back and really glad to finally have a collar (or two) again.  I'll post photos when they get here.

I hope the new year is treating everyone well.  I've been looking forward to 2012 for a long time... and I think it'll be a good year.  So far it seems pretty great.


Video isn't mine.  It has credits at the end, though!


  1. Honey you don't need to explain to any of us. Life happens to all of us. I am so glad to see you writing again, and to know that you are on the mend.

  2. So glad for you that you're starting to feel better zelda. Happy new year and continued healing. xx K