Friday, April 8, 2011



The Sacral Chakra is number two on our trip up the chakra ladder.  "Svadhisthana" is a Sanskrit for "one's own place of residence" or "one's own abode".  Svadhisthana is located just above Muladhara, essentially at the pubic bone.  It is depicted as a lotus with six orange petals and a smiling crescent moon in the center.  Each petal has significance, but I will not go into details about those meanings here.  I may change my mind and later edit this post, but for now I will just focus on the general traits of Svadhisthana.  The seed sound or mantra for this chakra is Vam.  Svadhisthana is associated with the unconscious, emotions, and (particularly) desire.  The element associated with this chakra is water, which represents the flow of energy as well as sensuality.

This chakra can be blocked by guilt.  A closed or underactive Svadhisthana chakra is associated with a lack of emotion or stoicism, an inability to experience pleasure, feelings of guilt, mental cloudiness, or even sexual dysfunction.  Alternatively, an overactive second chakra may lead to being over emotional with little sense of control over one's feelings.

A healthy, balanced Svadhisthana chakra is typically indicated by emotional well-being, flowing of creative energy, a bit of confidence, the ability to not be trapped by guilt, not viewing oneself as a victim, and (pleasantly enough) a fulfilling sex life.  Or perhaps if you don't have an active sex life, you would ideally be comfortable with your sexuality and sexual self.

I am happy that I can say that my second chakra is quite happy these days.  It wasn't always, though.  As I noted in my Muladhara post when I discussed the detachment I felt from my body, I was once effectively asexual.  I wasn't able to get any real enjoyment out of masturbation and the idea of a sexual partner didn't particularly interest me.  Of course, when I met Master, things changed.  I think the blockages surrounding my sexuality originated from the issues I had (have) with my body in general.  In my relationship with Master, our intellectual and spiritual relationship developed well before a physical relationship began to bud.  We were friends for many months before we started dating.  Because those emotional gateways were already open between us, I was able to trust him enough to open up physically.  This greatly helped in my sexual development as a woman and as a person in general.

But the real issues I had with Svadhisthana were deeper than sex.  It relates more to my most recent post.  Before I met Master, I was beyond apathetic.  I didn't let myself have feelings.  I was very young.  I thought that cloistering myself from pain would make me stronger.  If I didn't let anything (or anyone in), nothing could hurt me.  How utterly ignorant.  I don't know how I didn't notice that by closing myself off from pain, I was starving my soul and spirit.  Literal starvation.  I became a small, petty, critical person.  I wasn't that way before.  I had been warm and compassionate, but something - at some point - became too much for me to tolerate.  And I felt like simply... going away would help with that.  I couldn't leave the situation I was in, so I just withdrew inward (as I so often do, even now.  (See Muladhara) and left myself a wandering shell.

Truly, I was broken when he found me.  I was lost in my own inability to feel.  He saw me for what I was - hiding.  Naturally, the man was a hypocrite.  As they say, "it takes one to know one" and he really only recognized me because he was in the same state.  I remember in one of our earliest conversations, he warned me that soon - if I didn't stop what I was doing - I would be unable to feel even if I wanted to.  The damage would be unfixable.  That I would be "like him".  I didn't really think that was such a bad thing, at the time.  I admired him very much (and I still do).  He was (is) independent and strong, solid, unmoving, intellectual, and a force to be reckoned with.

Despite the fact that we were both like two giant blocks of ice in a freezer at the beginning, it didn't last long.  For all our bluster and talk, it wasn't too hard to break the mould and start feeding the emaciated souls inside of ourselves.  I think we are both still coming to terms with our emotions.  I do feel that I have learned to be expressive without screaming in rage, while filtering only enough of myself to remove (most) irrationalities.  It used to be one or the other - screaming fits of wrath or a stone cold wall with nothing inside.  I had no balance at all.  I was once so, so angry.  I still have anger issues, but nothing at all like what once was inside me.  I can let enough out without being resentful while still (generally) staying rational.

I am not perfect, of course.  We all have our moments.  But my emotions work much more rhythmically than they once did, more akin to the sea.  Before it was like a river running wild, alternating between out of control rapids waterfalls with the occasional dam, stopping the flow entirely.  Now, like the sea, there are still high and low tides.  There are still storms.  But in general, things are stable and patterned (even if there is the occasional tsunami).  I could go further and ramble about how tsunamis are typically brought about by the earth and not the ocean itself, but I think I've made myself clear and I'll drop it for now.

In essence, I am thankful for how far I have come in this area.  I may not have touched on submission explicitly in this post, but it was through my relationship with Master (and therefore through my submission to him) that I have learned what I have learned.  Of course, he will say that it was ultimately my choice to grow and development.  But I don't know if it ever would have happened without him.  I must not choose to submit to my emotions or to the fear of emotions.  I can only submit to One.  But I could not do so without being open both emotionally and sexually.

I cannot serve without balancing these dualities.



If any pictures in this post belong to you and you would like them removed or credited, please email me and I will be happy to comply.


  1. I am just soaking this up. Thanks for the education! :)

  2. You are most welcome, K! I'm glad that others are enjoying it. I wasn't sure how people would take to it since it isn't "directly related" to M/s or O/p... but I felt like it was something I wanted to talk about, so here I am. :)

  3. Great! We subs and Doms share a common connection, but surely we can talk about other things. I don't think that takes away from D/s at all, just adds to:)