Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Submissive Meme

Okay, so a friend passed on 2 memes that i'm going to post up for fun.

"The Submissive's Meme"

-What do you call your Dominant?

i call Him 'Master'. i've been calling Him this for several years now and i think it'd be hard to break the habit by now if i needed to for some reason. i sometimes call Him his name if it's in appropriate context. i have a couple of other silly petnames for Him, but Master is the most common. ^^

-What do they call you?

Master calls me several different things. Sometimes my name, sometimes 'slave', sometimes 'slut', sometimes 'bitch'... you get the idea. lol Mostly 'slave' or possibly even 'sweetie'. Master has called me sweetie since before we were M/s.. and it sounds corny and i was never fond of the word before, but coming from Him? It makes me very happy.

-What is your favorite thing that they do?

Since this is a 'submissive' meme, i will answer this as if it is limited to BDSM-related things. And even THAT is hard a question to answer. Ugh... hard to think of. Um, i think it's just the sort of thing wheren He grabs me by my hair, slaps me around a little bit, whispers against my lips that i'm His dirty slut (or other naughty things), and then forces a violent kiss on me before twisting my nipples and fucking me hard and.... >.> Okay i'll stop. i like that feeling of sheer domination. i love the way He looks at me when He does all that... it's indescribable. Maybe this isn't the most violent, hardcore BDSM fantasy ever - but i love it.

-What do they do that you absolutely HATE?

Again, trying to stick with BDSM or M/s related things here... Um, i don't have a lot to complain about, actually. i don't really like certain punishments that get imposed on me, but i can avoid those by being good, right? xP

-What are your top 3 favorite activities?

This one is hard too! T.T Let's say that these are three OF my favorites, not necessarily my "top 3".

1 - Feeling like an object. i love when Master feels like i have no value other than the value He places on me. i love it when He gets inside my head with just a look. i love when He treats me like a fuck toy and He'll call me His "sex doll" or "fuck toy". Damned hot. i kind of like any sort of "dirty talk" from Master. ^^ But this especially.

2 - Roleplaying. Roleplaying is awesome. i love classic RPs, like schoolgirl-teacher or schoolgirl-asshole classmate. i like when we pretend He's kidnapped/drugged me. i like being the too-drunk girl at the party.... i love being His prisoner. i love when i'm trapped and He forces Himself on be over and over.... geez. @_@

3 - Mouthfucking/general roughness. i LOVE when Master mouthfucks me and then just violates me in a painfully hard and rough way. Along this same line, i also really like being forced to masterbate while being mouthraped... loooooove it.

-What are your top 3 HARD limits?

i don't think of myself as having "limits" because Master isn't interested in any of these things anyway, but i guess i'll list things that we avoid in order to keep us both happy and to keep me sane/healthy as a humanbeing:

1 - Sharing. Master does not share me with others and i couldn't stand Master being with another person. i know most M/s relationships may not be like this, but we are very much happy in our monogamous bubble.

2 - Scatplay/humantoilet/etc. i don't want shit on me, in my mouth, or any other place it doesn't belong. i could HANDLE being pissed on (though Master says He doesn't have a desire for that either) but i don't think i could deal with drinking it or having it in my mouth period. >> bleh.

3 - Switching. At least in this relationship, this would violently disrupt the balance of power. If if Master were WILLING to let me top Him (which He is not), i think He agrees that it would damage "the balance" so to speak.

-What are you top 3 SOFT limits?

i don't really have "soft" limits. i guess i may have certain things that i don't like as much but that i put up with anyway that i could list...

Meh, nevermind *20 minutes later*. This isn't working. i'm only coming up with things that i'm not really interested in, but would be able to go through if Master wanted me to. These aren't limits in the first place, so never mind. Maybe i'll add some if i think of any later.

-What is one thing you will ONLY do with your Dominant, and no one else? (ie, a play partner, another Dominant, etc.)

Um, my entire relationship is something that i would do ONLY with my Master. My submission is a gift and i'm not interested in merely being abused under the guise of "BDSM" by a stranger. i know that not everyone feels it is abuse, and it isn't for most people. But without the support of my Master, i would outright refuse to serve anyone else. He is the only one worthy of my gift... and i think He's very proud of that. Also i think it makes Him happy because He can do whatever the fuck He wants to me >.> and that makes a guy happy, right? lol

-What is your safe word?

Hmm... We had a safeword, in the early stages of our relationship but i never used it. Now Master mostly just pays close attention to make sure i'm not behaving strangely. Master is very good at reading my reactions, and i trust Him. So i guess we don't have a safeword these days.

-Are you collared?

Technically, i am. But Master does not always require me to wear it. He has looked for collars more appropriate for public, but for now, my engagement ring sort of serves as a 24/7 "collar" for us. But yes, i was formally presented with a collar some years ago.

- What are your top 3 fetishes?

T.T This is also haaaaard. Again, these may not be top but i'll list three of my favorites.
1 - School teacher/student. Actually, i think i mentioned this as part of 'role playing' back in "favorite activities" but i don't care. i love when we get to act out Teacher/student stuff. @.@ If Master had taught me in highschool, i would have totally done illicit things with Him. *blushes* anyway...
2 - General Roughness/Dirty talk. i love any kind of roughness/forcefulness. It doesn't have to be specific "okay, I am now going to beat you with this whip until you cry" just.. anything. This won't make sense to anyone else, but the other day Master let out one of His other 'personas'... and that was REALLY hot. During that scene, there was a moment where i tried to put my arms around Him and He wouldn't let me... totally hot, degrading, etc. Made me feel like an object. This fits in with the dirty talk too. Please verbally abuse me? >>
3 - Serving. Sometimes as part of foreplay, Master will make sure my collar is on and just.. command me to do things for Him. Some might be sexual, some maybe not. But it just makes me feel so small and submissive to Him. i also love being made to kneel infront of Him and be forced to repeat some of the cruel things He says about me.. i went back to dirty talk again.. >> anyway, you get the idea.

- Do you love your Dominant, or is it a strictly D/s relationship?

i love my Master more than anything else in this world. i think the relationship would be entirely dysfunctional/abusive if we didn't both love each other very deeply. i know it works for some, but it wouldn't work for us.

- If you've done any introspection, why is it you identify as a submissive?

Fuck this is complicated. i will reflect on this in a separate post if Master wants me to.

- How successful is you Dominant at BEING a Dominant? Is there anything you would change about him/her?

*shifts eyes* Master will eat me if i say bad things. And not the good eating either! lol Well, i think Master is a very successful Dominant. Sometimes i am still argumentative or "poofy", but i think Master is amused/pleased by this fire in my personality. i would be dull to Him if He totally squashed that out of me. Master has made me a much happier person by training me to be submissive and give myself over to Him. When i think of how i was before i met Him... it's.. well, it's been a big transformation. i haven't changed as a person, but.. meh, Master will know what i'm saying. He trained me well.

As for "changing" things about Him, i don't think i have anything like that. i have already discussed one request with Master. Sometimes my "fire" turns into "bitchy". i would like Master to notify me (physically if possible) when i am starting to get bitchy. i don't act that way intentionally.. force of habit, i guess. But i still need guidance there sometimes. And i probably always will. No one is perfect.

- Turn the critical eye on yourself? How successful are YOU? Is there anything you would like to get better at?

Um... well, i'm better than i used to be 4 or 5 years ago. lol i can give myself that much. i think i'm pretty good, and i think Master believes i do a good job since He tells me so. i would like to work more on increasing my pain tolerance and having more time/energy to please Him. Maybe learn to cook better or something. Also, i think Master would agree that i need to take better care of myself so that He can have a healthy slave. i need to eat right, learn to fucking excercise (maybe this SHOULD be a rule, Master?), and stay healthy! A sick slave isn't that useful.

- Do you find the level of control in your relationship to be appropriate? Would you like more or less, or is it adequate?

i think the level of control is good. *nods* i think Master and i are trying to work into slowly increasing control. Turn up the heat slowly to get to a level where we are both comfortable. i'm will to try more and i think Master is too.

- Are there any things you do, as a submissive, that would be considered “submissive”; but aren't done because you're D/s, you just do them because you like/want to, etc?

i guess so. i mean, i'm kind of a nurturer by nature. i try to take care of Master when He is sick and i like doing things for Him "just because". His nature is such that even if we weren't M/s, He'd be making me 'submit' somehow anyway. xD But it is in my nature to take care of people.. so i'm sure some of what i do is just natural.

- Any final thoughts?

Not now i guess. Master will read through this and probably ask if he wants me to expand on anything in other posts. Sorry for the post delay, btw... we've been dealing with me being sick and a lot of stress from school. But i'm baaaaaaaack.


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